


Catch 22

by Merixcil



Category: GLAM (band), VIXX
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 20:42:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2481719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merixcil/pseuds/Merixcil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hongbin keeps wishing like he's expecting it not to happen</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catch 22

Hongbin watches Hakyeon dance; flowing, elegant, like water diffracting music along trajectories his eyes aren’t sharp enough to follow. Muscle memory lies heavy in his limbs as familiar routines are played out before him in higher definition than he could ever manage, he understands the theory and the practice but the art is beyond him. Hongbin half wishes that he knew how to move his body like his body was made to move and half wishes that he didn’t have to dance in the first place. 

Mostly he just wishes that Hakyeon would dance for him and him alone. He’s been thinking about it recently, he’s been wondering how Hakyeon might move beneath him once the infernal trappings of clothing and pretence have been removed. Sex is a dance that Hongbin finds his body better suited to than slick choreography, and he’s been told he carries off the latter rather well. 

 

“I’ve been thinking about this, “Jinhee mutters breathlessly against his collarbone. She’s a dancer too, only older and more experienced than Hongbin is used to dealing with. She knows moves he’s never learned and doesn’t expect he’ll ever master and she leaves him feeling like he could fly.

Jinhee’s nice, Hongbin can laugh with her and it’s the best sex he’s ever had. From the first kiss he knows they are not built to last, so when she moves on to greener pastures he cannot even find it in himself to feel jilted. 

Hongbin tries transposing Hakyeon’s body onto Jinhee’s as the need to fuel his fantasies outweighs the need to obey the unspoken rule that one should never feel that way about a groupmate. He’s not trying to replace her, but he needs a frame of reference and she’s the best he’s got. Of course, the dimensions come out all wrong and Hongbin feels unable to meet Jinhee’s gaze when next their paths cross. She thinks he’s jealous and bitter and he doesn’t blame her, even if he knows it’s only guilt. 

 

Hakyeon moves like a cat, like an insect, sharp and fluid all at once. He bends in ways that Hongbin tells himself are impossible, as if half an hour he was not out on the dance floor doing the exact same thing, but everything looks different when in the hands of someone who knows what they’re doing. Sometimes Hongbin wonders if he’s attracted to Hakyeon because he’s Hakyeon or if he’s attracted to a dancer, supple and alien and completely out of his reach. In the end he supposes it doesn’t really matter, either he’ll get what he wants or he won’t and the endgame will remain untarnished by motivation. 

 

“I’ve been thinking about this,” Hakyeon informs him with furrowed brows. Before them are instructions for a choreography that Hongbin feels might as well be in Portuguese for all the sense they make to him. Next to him, Hakyeon’s eyes scan the page with measured professionalism, because this is his territory, this is what he does best. Long fingers pour across the page and stop at moments where apparently the guidelines do not make sense. He has been thinking about ways to fix them. 

There are cracks in the company plan, cracks that Hakyeon is more than capable of fixing. He demonstrates with his body for Hongbin’s benefit, delivering his altered version without pausing for thought and when Hongbin cannot do it alone he rearranges him, like a puppet – step by step until he gets it right. 

Hakyeon’s hands on his wrists, on his shoulders, at his waist. Hongbin wonders what would happen if he turned around and kissed him, kissed him and fucked him and was fucked by him and stripped them booth bare to the bones on the floor of the dance studio. He feels his pulse jump beneath his sleeves and tries not to get ahead of himself, Hakyeon is only here for business. 

“I’ve been thinking about this,” the first man says as he pushes his partner down on the bed before kissing him roughly. The second man responds how second men always respond in these kinds of videos and Hongbin wonders if it was ever that easy in real life. Sometimes he hears of male idols holed up together in music show bathroom and the backs of vans and he has no idea how they ever plucked up the courage to get there in the first place. The act of asking, he supposes, is not hard but the cost of guessing wrong is a mighty price to pay. 

And Hongbin’s not even guessing, he’s wishing. He wishes in the shower and he wishes when he’s sure the others are asleep. He wishes Hakyeon would catch him, even if it would only lead to awkward eye contact and a week of being unable to speak to each other without blushing, at least then he’d know. 

 

“I’ve been thinking about this,” Hongbin wishes he had said something earlier. He and Hakyeon are alone onstage, standing in the spotlight as hundreds, thousands, millions of people look on; caught up in the moment he forgets specifics. His voice is lost below the boiling of the speakers and the shrieking of the audience and the Act has become everything. 

Tonight they stare each other down like theirs is a quarrel that can only be solved in sex. Fucking, begging, writhing, panting, sweating, moaning, coming: sex. Hongbin doesn’t have to fake it, but for all he knows Hakyeon is nothing more than a tantalising mask. Either they will walk away safe in the understanding that this is their job and nothing more, or they will rip each other’s clothes off in the dressing room on a post performance high and Hongbin will never know if Hakyeon meant it. 

And to think he once thought that the motivation didn’t matter – naive fool. 

In the back of his mind thoughts of Hakyeon lying naked and pliant before him burn bright, they mingle with the memory of the long hours spent sweating though choreo designed to stimulate and overexcite. The thought of having it all makes Hongbin’s heart ache and his breath quicken but the thought of not having it does the same. He supposes he should have forseen this paradox, he should have said something when he had the chance. 

Hongbin’s blood burns through his veins, eliminating everything around him save Hakyeon, tugging on his neck, moving him like a puppet, moving in so that they are close enough to kiss. 

And what happens next?

He’ll never know.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing VIXX so I do apologise for any grave errors in characterisation!


End file.
